See how they grow

So, I posted a few days ago about my fears of The Kid starting school and all that entails, and I haven't really stopped thinking about it. Actually, I don't have time to stop thinking about it, because even though I'm planning to keep him in preschool one more year, that year will fly by before I know it and I have some big decisions to make.

But, before I get caught up in that tangent again, that's not really what I want to get out of my spinning fan tonight...

I am part of an email list for autism this and autism that - university research projects, seminars, training, support groups, fund raisers, etc, etc - and one email that came through today contained a couple videos regarding transitioning to adulthood with ASD. So, I started watching one...I think I made it about 30 seconds and I couldn't watch anymore. It wasn't a bad video - a young man starting at a community college, and an interview with him and his father - but I wasn't ready to envision that yet. That's not just a scary road - it's an unknown road.

I know it's been said many times, and re-quoted over and over, but it's true that when you've met one person with autism, then you've met one person with autism. The Kid isn't just another person with autism, he's The Kid and his autism is uniquely his. His road will be unique to him. His trials and his successes will be unique to him. And his future is not set.

Now, I do believe in being prepared and learning from others who have traveled the autism road before us, but I think it can be difficult to look too far down that road because of all the potential curves and detours that road can reveal for each individual. If I let myself get caught up in worrying about college or adulthood, etc., then I risk letting my energy get lost down the worry roads of "what if?", and that does a disservice to The Kid today.

He needs me to focus my energy on today. Tomorrow. Our issues now. Issues I can focus on dealing with now. Issues I can help him to work through now. He's 4, and I need to deal with autism and how it affects my 4 year old. I need to be watching videos on potty training and therapies. Read articles on speech therapy, occupational therapy and different school options. I have to be in the present and try not to worry (too much) about the future.

We're not ready to worry about that road, so no use spinning our fans down that one when I already have too many things stuck in my fan for today.