1 in 88

1 in 88. 1 out of every 88 children has the chance of having autism. 

1 in 54. 1 out of every 54 boys has the chance of having autism.

That figure sounds scary from any angle. But when it's your child, your son that is that 1, it's not just scary it's overwhelming.

My son is that 1. I think I knew before he was born that he would be that 1. Call it mother's intuition, paranoid thinking, or maybe even self-fulfilling prophecy, but here we are.

The Kid just turned 4 years old last week, and he is the sweetest, funniest kid and I am truly blessed to have him as my son. But, that doesn't mean it's easy. Of course, being a parent isn't easy no matter what kid you have. It's been said a thousand times in a thousand different ways, but being a parent is the hardest job on earth. Period. Having a kid with special needs is hard, but being a mom was already going to be hard so what's a little more work?

Well, okay, a lot more work a lot of the time. I don't pretend to speak for every mother of a child with autism or every mother of a special needs kid, so please don't go lamenting about me speaking out of turn, etc. I'm speaking for me and me alone and my journey as a mother. I really have no idea why I started this blog, but I'm hoping that it helps me to heal, in a way. Not in the sense that I'm injured and need to be fixed, but more in the sense that I give and give and give and need to feel like I can be filled back up. I'm hoping that by my getting my thoughts out and sharing our little piece of our world, I'll start to feel replenished so that I can continue to give to my son who needs me the most.

So, bear with me, those of you who find me here. I'm not sure I'll ever purposely share this with anyone, but if anyone should find my ramblings, bear with me...